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February 02, 2024

Stay Positive - A Love Story for Valentines Day

As long as I had known him, my grandfather had always a positive outlook and sunny disposition.  To this day, I marvel at the memories I have of him.  He was warm and loving, but could also be strict when my brother and I misbehaved. 


My grandfather did not have an easy life.  He was the oldest of 3 boys.  When he was a young man, he, his brothers, and his father were inducted to serve in Germany’s army during World War I (1914-1918).  His youngest brother, Franz, perished in the trenches of that war.  Grandfather seldom spoke about this time.


Grandpa beamed when he told me about the love of his life, Dorothy.  They were a young couple of modest means, but very much in love.  Grandpa told me, that in those days, young girls had a “Hope Chest”.  This chest would be filled with a dowry to bring into the marriage.  During this time, dowries would go towards establishing a marital household like linens, dishes, cutlery, and furniture.  


At a young age, each time Dorothy would have her long blonde hair cut into a short hair cut, she would keep the long strands bundled together and place them in her hope chest.  As a wedding present, Dorothy gave him a watch with a very special watch band.  She had woven her own hair and created an incredibly beautiful watch band for her love.  I still remember Grandpa beaming with pride and joy, as he shared the story of his unusual watch band.  He wore it until the day he died.


Grandpa and Dorothy had one son (my father).  In 1928, when my father was 2 years old, Dorothy suddenly became quite ill and soon died of cancer.  Dorothy’s mother moved in and helped Grandpa raise my father.  From what I hear, my father was quite a terror, and difficult for both to handle.


Not long after Dorothy’s death, World War II (1939-1945) broke out.  Germany once again inducted her men to fight in this war too.  This time, three generations of my family were inducted to serve in the German army: my father, my grandfather, grandpa’s middle brother, and his sons, plus my Great Grandfather.  Insanity!  The human toll on my family was great, with only my grandfather and father surviving.


This brings me back to Grandpa’s positive outlook and disposition.  I cannot even imagine, what pain, hopelessness, and horrors he had to endure during his life. 


My early memories of him are me sitting on his lap, one of his arms around me, while he read Grimm's Fairy Tales to me, reading funny stories to me, reciting funny poems and limericks, watching me laugh. 

Grandpa and me


As I grew older, he would always have me tell him about my friends, school, everything, and anything.  When I told him of something negative or bad that had happened, he would acknowledge it.  But if I started to recount that same negative or bad occurrence again, he would stop me right away and tell me: “You already shared that with me.  Now, tell me of something good and happy that happened.  I want to hear something good and beautiful.”  The positive experiences I shared with him, he would ask me over and over again to retell them: “tell me about the time, when…”

He would absolutely wallow in my successes and positive experiences.  It was like a record, you play over and over again: accentuate the positive.  Now, that I am older, I completely understand, how important it is to keep a positive outlook, and not to dwell on the negative.  I’ve come to realize that this is how he was able to stay sane.  Relive the beautiful moments in your life, even if it is just a wonderful memory.


My memories of him are how he enjoyed every moment with his family and loved ones.  He loved to laugh.  His sense of humor was exceptional. 


He replayed the beautiful and happy moments he was able to spend with Dorothy over and over again.  And then relive beautiful moments of my life by asking me about them.


A positive outlook will help you overcome many obstacles.  Be mindful, and try it!  You will be amazed.

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